Bad back and time to script a little note:
Suffering with immense pain and finding solace in crochet, family and warmth but desperately missing energy in my life at the moment.
The endorphins, the feel of ache from exercise - not long now hopefully.
Food….well I’m following a regime of sorts - as always - but weighty..
Stupidly or not I’ve gone a bit macrobiotic - albeit with a bit of fish - so for 3 days I’ve eaten brown rice, veg, fruit, ryvita, noodles - sometimes I despair with myself but I’m hoping to give myself strength, positivity, etc - I might write about it, I might not - time dependant 😄
Talking to my kids about blogs and such like - we decided we don’t like them as its a bit cringey people talking about themselves - I’ve gone red.
I did tell them that I had started one - well actually I started two - the other one I was going to write stories - I still want to do that it’s just I have no time and when I do I lack inclination.
Anyway I think they would be pretty horrified to read my words (my children) just because of the nature of our (my family) - we are quiet people, private - but my problem is that Words are quite therapeutic to me - I long to write really and do if this satisfies a little penchant for me I may continue it periodically (tine&inclination permitting).
It’s like every night I think what shall I try tomorrow to loose those extra pounds…nowhere else to share this anxiety, this irrationality, pathetic ness yet still it taunts me..mental health issues ? Yes
Less in denial when typing it here though - the turmoil is unexplainable when trying to live ‘normally - day to day / there are far more important things to consider in life …..yet….here I go again
When I start my new job I will post a photographic diary - there I’ve said it do I need to do it.
Too tired to function today, not sure how my husband can keep going - day in, day out, he is a machine 💚